Honestly, I wasn’t all at prepared to receive the Jaguar XE Portfolio. On the day of its arrival, I was wearing a scruffy pair of house shorts and a wrinkled T-shirt that I wouldn’t dare to wear to my local newsagents across the road.
With what seemed like hours and hours of waiting in anticipation, which later lead to excitement, the Jaguar XE Portfolio finally arrived. There it was, outside my house, waiting for me and for me only.
I opened the driver’s door and the Jaguar embossed floor panel lit up in an illuminating hue of light blue almost turquoise colour which made me crack a cheeky little smile as I sat down in the driver’s seat.
Touching the steering wheel and soft leather seats while feeling the leather dashboard and its super sensitive 8inch LCD touch screen brought another smile to my face, albeit, this smile slightly more erotic than the first smile.
This was the moment I knew I was in for a treat. This was the moment that made my blood pressure rise (in a good way) as the excitement started to build.
The model delivered to me was the Jaguar XE Portfolio which comes with the below and a whole host of other tech treats on its standard specification model:
- 8-Speed automatic transmission with Jaguar Sequential Shift
- Intelligent Stop/Start
- Torque Vectoring by Braking (TVBB)
- Jaguar Drive Control
- 10×10-way electrically adjustable front seats
- Power Steering (inc EPAS)
- Meridian Sound System (380W)
- Windsor Leather seats with Herringbone
- 2-Zone climate control
Along with the added extra’s such as:
- 18″ Arm 6 spoke (£410)
- Pro Services and Wi-Fi Hotspot (£310)
- Premium carpet mat set (£105)
- Interior Mood Lighting (£310)
- Adaptive Dynamics (£800)
- Power convenience pack (£920)
- Electric 10-way seat adjust (£765)
Plus loads more tech spec, that I will add to the bottom of this article. The only thing left for me to do was to drive… And drive I did. I started the engine and watched as the circular gear dial rose out of the block allowing me to change gear and start driving. At this point, my grin was wider than the that of the Joker in Batman. I pressed the accelerator and took her for a spin.
The Jaguar XE Portfolio feels solid and heavy, almost tank-like (in a good way). You can feel the weight of the car as it moves off and you start to wonder how this 2.0L engine manages to pull the weight so effortlessly. You would be forgiven if you assumed the engine was a V6 or even V8 as it seemed to feel faster than many of the lighter, smaller, 2.0L sports cars that I have recently test driven and has a top speed of 140MPH and goes 0 – 60MPH in 7.4 seconds.
This is the moment where you need to be careful as the Jaguar XE Portfolio is so smooth and comfortable, you’ll hit 60MPH in a 20MPH without even realising. Actually, that statement is untrue. You can’t NOT notice how fast you are going as the Jaguar XE Portfolio has a reflective speedo in the right-hand side of the windscreen which shows your speed and also the speed limit you should be driving at that time. It’s a nice little touch which means you do not have to keep looking down at the speed-o-meter on the dashboard all the time.
As I cruised along actually, scrap that. As I glided along (I imagine that this is the closest feeling you’ll get to flying a spaceship) my mind started playing tricks on me. All of a sudden, those house shorts and wrinkled T-Shirt felt like an absolute NO GO. I started to feel a sense of unease. The Jaguar XE Portfolio made me want to change my clothes and fix up – look sharp.
At this moment, I felt like I should be wearing a suit. Not the Zara suits I sometimes wear in my general day to day work. But one of my Hugo Boss suits that I wear to special events and occasions. As I started questioning my attire I also started questioning my home.
How does my shiny new (unfinished in terms of interior decor) flat match up to the Jaguar XE Portfolio? I went through a like for like checklist in my head and it went something likes this.
The Jaguar XE Portfolio vs my home.
- Brand new build apartment and first owner – tick.
- 3 seater white suede sofa from Natuzzi –tick.
- A king size bed from Warren Evans that seduces me into a romantic sleep every night –tick.
- A one-of-a-kind, custom built, solid oak dining table with brushed copper legs –tick.
- Salt and pepper grinders from Cole & Mason –tick.
- Gunmetal grey dustbin from Brabantia –tick.
- Stainless steel knives from Global –tick.
Ok, maybe I am worthy, maybe this Jaguar has my name written all over it. My mind started to relax, I started to feel at ease. My home does match up to the luxury and comfort of the Jaguar XE Portfolio. I felt a sense of Zen and at the moment I wanted to drive into ye olde sunset as the old saying goes.
“If I wanted a jerky ride, I’d catch a bus”
The great thing about this car is the supreme quality without the Bentley price tag. The Jaguar XE Portfolio epitomises pound for pound quality and style. You’ll have heads turning while you drive, but the Jaguar does not shout and scream ‘hey everyone, look at me’ like some other cars do, as It’s subdued style, it’s for those in the know.
I picked up a lady friend of mine who has a fetish for Jaguar’s based on a very vague memory at 8 yrs old, of her friend’s dad, driving them to a birthday party in his Jaguar. She doesn’t remember the model, she’d doesn’t even remember the colour of the car. However she does remember it was a Jaguar (she asked at the time), and she does remember the walnut dashboard and the leather interior and feeling like a princess on the way to a ball.
She hoped in and did as I done, and touched the leather and then relaxed into the seat. The Jaguar is the type of car that does all the talking for you (for those of us with no game). She had that nostalgic feeling again and said ‘I wish I was wearing from of my nice dresses today’. As we glided along, she also said ‘Leonard, this is so much smoother and nicer than those sports cars you have recently been driving, I mean, If I wanted a jerky ride, I’d catch a bus’.
You can find more information regarding the Jaguar XE Portfolio on the Jaguar website as well as information on the new launches such as the Jaguar E-Pace & F-Pace, that I will be test driving soon(ish) as well as the XF, XJ and the awesome F-Type.
In the meantime, here is the full (not so boring) tech spec of the Jaguar XE Portfolio:
BASE PRICE (OTR*): £35,425.00
PRICE AS TESTED (INC. OPTIONS): £46,886.00
• 8-Speed automatic transmission with Jaguar Sequential Shift
• Intelligent Stop/Start
• Torque Vectoring by Braking (TVBB)
• Jaguar Drive Control
• 10×10-way electrically adjustable front seats
• Power Steering (inc EPAS)
• Cruise Control with Automatic Speed Limiter (ASL)
• All Surface Progress Control (ASPC)
• Bi-function HID Xenon headlights
• Tyre Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS)
• Brake Pad Wear Indicator
• Electric Parking Brake (EPB)
• Speed Proportional Steering
• Meridian Sound System (380W)
• 8” Capacitive Touchscreen
• Windsor Leather seats with Herringbone
• Auto-Dimming interior rear view mirror
• 2-Zone climate control
• Dynamic Stability Control & Traction Control
• Rear Parking Aid
• Traffic Sign Recognition and Intelligent Speed Limiter
• Passive Front Head Restraints (Whiplash Protection)
• Emergency Brake Assist
• Autonomous Emergency Braking (AEB)
• Hazard lights under heavy braking
• Bluetooth® telephone connectivity
• Bluetooth® Streaming
• 1 x USB socket* supports iPod integration
• Hill Launch Assist
• DAB Digital Radio
OPTIONS FITTED TO THIS CAR:
• Ammonite Grey (£635)
• Jet/Light Oyster Taurus Leather (no cost)
• 18″ Arm 6 spoke (£410)
• Pro Services and Wi-Fi Hotspot (£310)
• Spare wheel (£150)
• Premium carpet mat set (£105)
• Interior Mood Lighting (£310)
• Adaptive Dynamics (£800)
• Side door treadplate illuminated (£424)
• Heated + powerfold mirrors (£275)
• 40:20:40 split fold rear seat (£410)
• Power convenience pack (£920)
• Navigation package (£1,125)
• Parking Pack (£545)
• Head-up display (£1,020)
• Electric 10-way seat adjust (£765)
• Veneer-satin grey figured ebony (£310)
• Heated washer jets (£445)
• Infrared windscreen (£445)
• Chrome Grille Chrome surround (£297)
• Heated Front Windscreen (£310)
• 4-way lumbar (£240)