Your profile pictures are everything in the world of online dating.  If you’re profile isn’t gaining you any returns then you need to take a good look at the pictures you’ve chosen to represent yourself and ask yourself, do you really look like someone people would be dying to meet?

Here are the biggest profile picture no no’s, if you’re using any of these take them down immediately and rethink your life!

The Group Shot

Which one is you? Do I care? Next! Or maybe one of them is HOT, oh that isn’t you, next! Either way the group shot is too much hard work to decipher and you’ve already got on my nerves with this guessing game.

Fancy Dress Hallarities

You rocked that power ranger suit last Halloween,  you do hen night sexy, holding a giant willy so well? Do you really? No one does, FACT! It sadly doesn’t translate into relationship material and any potential match would probably have had to have been there to chuckle with you.

I woke up like this

If you have an undressed picture of you in bed with what you think are come hither eyes, but you’re kinda classy so you cropped it about the shoulders.  You seriously need to have a good think about your decision making process. It didn’t work for James Franco and it won’t work for you.


Blurry face

You’re hurting my eyes with your low res image. Why haven’t you worked out how to use a camera? Or are you so ugly you think masking it with a bad photo will help? I don’t want to find out.

Bathroom room selfie

Or really any selfie for that matter. If you don’t have enough friends in life to take a cool picture of you I’m going to ask myself why. Or are you just one of those women who will be constantly holding her camera above her head and pulling duck lips?  And yes gents, dressing room selfies still count, dop them.


You and a celebrity

I’m cringing just thinking about the type of people who post these shots. If meeting Katie Price/Spencer from MIC is your biggest achievement then jog on.

You and your Ex

It’s your sister, best friend, Jane from accounts. I don’t care, she’s your Ex and I don’t want to start anything romantic with a guy who still has feelings for his ex.  If you think cropping her out but I can still see you’re arm is around someone is Ok, you’re wrong, it’s your ex and all the above still stands.

Drinking or Smoking

A shot of you holding a pint doesn’t make you look like a really fun, social person.  And if you can’t manage to put the fag down for one picture than I think you’ve got serious addiction problems. While we’re on the subject, that fun shot of you devouring a massive burger disgusts me also.  Your lack of regard for your health is not cool.

You in a club surrounded by women

I’m shocked I even have to mention this one, it should be a no brainer. Proving that you are a player does not impress anyone.  Proving you can stand next to hot women does not excite me. No sensible person is going to want to join your little harem.

Your kids

You probably mean well with this one but it’s a fail. Too much too soon! Mention you have them but don’t force them down our throats.  You need to be seen as a hottie, not mum/dad at this stage and especially one who blast their kids picture all over dating sites.

If all this seems like too much hard work and you’d like to have a go the old fashioned way and meet someone off line! Come along to a cool singles event in London. Click the link for more information