Christmas is dawning on us and the amount of happy couples kissing under the mistletoe is enough to make you think about your ex. Yeah, Christmas is the season to be jolly but it’s also the season to miss your ex more than ever.
The urge to call your ex is strong right now, or maybe you’ve already called them and are back to talking terms either way, the question that’s on your mind is whether or not you should take your ex back. Should you give your relationship a second chance or is there too much water under the bridge now?
With the help of clinical psychologists, here’s what you should know if you are considering giving your ex a second chance:
1. Ask yourself these questions
If you are wondering whether you should rekindle your relationship with your ex, you need to ask yourself these 3 questions:
1. How much have you changed since you split up?
2. How much has your ex, changed?
3. How have your circumstances changed?
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a good or bad thing but if you have changed since splitting up with your ex or have changed your views on life, i.e career, morals, religion – then getting back with your ex may not be a good idea, especially if your views are different to theirs. It’s vital for every relationship that life goals are aligned, as this mutual bond ultimately keeps couples together. It’s important to keep in mind that people do change and lives do evolve, so if you are not on the same page as your ex, then ultimately your relationship isn’t going to work.
If it’s clear that you and your ex’s worlds have drifted apart and you both have nothing in common anymore, then it’s probably best to close the chapter and move on. It’s no secret that long-term love is based on similar interests, so why not consider dating apps like Huggle, which match you with like-minded people who share your lifestyle and go to the same places as you. There’s no harm in starting afresh, especially with someone who just “gets” you.
2. Can You Fix The Issues You Had Before?
You broke up for a reason and if that reason isn’t fixable, don’t go back. Communication is key and if you are both not clear on what needs to change, you’ll be single faster than you know it. If you believe you/your ex, haven’t addressed the issues that drove you apart, then there’s no point in fixing broken strings.
If you want to get back with your ex because you’re feeling lonely and bored, then this isn’t a good enough reason to get back together. If you’re feeling miserable without them and miss them every single day, then yes, it might be worth giving your ex a second chance. In the real world, relationships are based more than love, you need equality, support, and partnership. Analyse how you feel and whether or not its worth the effort to ignite the love again.
4. Do They bring The Best Out Of You?
Did your ex, make you feel strong and confident or did they turn you into a miserable mess? If they couldn’t bring the best out of you during your first try as a couple, and haven’t changed enough to give you that the second time, then accept that maybe getting back together again is a bad idea. The best thing you can do is get out in the dating world and meet new people who are perfectly suited to you.
Find someone compatible on Huggle. Download now.