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Four  weeks ago I stumbled into town on possibly the worst late night Thursday ever *dum dum DUM* The Christmas lights were being turned on and I was trapped between a cheesy band, a lion greeting children and adults trying to shake a leg. It was probably the cringiest moment of last month and undeniable I chuckled to myself as I reassessed my shopping trip. Maybe this feeling I declare is simply my way of revolt, my way at damning the season that gripped away at Summer or maybe I’m just a sad and grumpy women who would benefit from spending some time surrounded by elves and snow.

My main issue is just at how early it comes, I don’t understand the rush and I do feel like it’s all a bit of con to get you shop until you drop. Surely when I’ve reached the moment of motherhood I’ll change my ways because for me Christmas is pointless unless you’re surrounded by kids; tis the season for children and not for twenty something  year old people who hate crowds in shopping centres! Alas it wasn’t always this way, my near disgust at Christmas and the annoying chirpiness it brings. As the youngest of my family I can remember getting some of the greatest presents, it didn’t matter how much money had been put towards these gifts, I was always grateful and full of joy. Then my teenage years came along and shattered my festive dreams.  With the harsh mix of adolescent females under one roof and that ‘Whatever’ phase, I started to see the darker side of Christmas. Gone were the magnificent gifts and the heart warming traditions, my senses had awoken to the greed and the ploy of what I had always known to be the most wonderful time of the year.

Every year it comes earlier as I recall shopping at the beginning of September, mouth wide open as the Christmas aisle pounced on me, and still within earshot of November I see notification after notification that the decorations are up. Now sorry to be the Victor Meldrew of Christmas but how is this acceptable? I’ve never heard of Halloween decorations going up in September so why does Christmas get that satisfaction?

I hate the torrent of Christmas adverts from money hungry stores and the slithering responses of “That advert is so beautiful, I’m in floods!” It’s as if 75% of the population turn into women that require a packet of sweets and a bar of chocolate on those special days, which makes me sigh and shake my head in disbelief. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the Christmas films that come along with it and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I really really enjoy singing Christmas chart hits (but only circa the 70’s, up until the 90’s!) Oh and not only do I partially enjoy a sing song but the food is something that I wouldn’t turn my nose up at but that’s probably because I refrain from anything roast- like for two thirds of the year; I love all the trimmings but now my fancy free attitude to over indulge has hit a plateau.  For some reason I find myself cringing at the season and I will wholeheartedly admit that my best Christmas within the last 5 years was spent home alone, eating, drinking and being understandably merry. I had a bounce in my stride as I walked to visit the grandparents to get that trickle of tradition and a flash back to my younger years.

Enjoy Christmas because once it’s gone, all these have a go heroes will be back to their grumpy selves!

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