Have you ever been on a train and saw an available seat after a stop, went to sit down and felt the fresh warmth of the previous backside? Grim.  Well that is what it’s like entering a new relationship with someone who has recently parted ways with their ex, and even worse are still in contact! I think there’s a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t remain friends and I have never understood why people do remain in contact. Well unless they’re not really over each other and have plans on getting back together.

Maybe its normal to still remain in contact within the first few weeks, you are still clearing things up and clarifying what you are both going through. I guess it’s not easy to ask for a clean break up for some. After all this is someone you probably spent a lot of time with and shared some intimate stuff. It won’t be easy and this can be one of the main reasons why people still hold on.

Can you go back to being ‘just friends’

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Being friends with your ex while single and being friends with your ex whilst in a new relationship are two completely different situations. When you are single and you’re still “friends” with your ex it gives off the impression that you are both not ready to let go. You still keep in contact to see how the other is doing without you, whether they are thinking of you or missing you. Who is doing better off? It’s a competition that you want to win. Depending on how the relationship ended also indicates whether you can remain friends or not. If you didn’t make it as a couple why is being friends any different? If you were in a whirlwind love and break up, can you go back to being just friends?

A question many of us females wonder is “why do you need to be friends with her?” If the relationship is done, there should be no ‘friendship’ either. Personally none of my friends in my circle have remained in contact let alone friends with their ex, the relationship didn’t work out and they moved on.

Jealousy & competition

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Having an ex close by means there will be constant competition, either between yourselves or your new partner and the ex. I believe that once everything has been confirmed, the relationship is done the number and texts and pictures should be deleted. It’s a militant move especially for a female, but if there’s no going back why are you wasting your time dwelling on it. This is an even more important procedure if it ended badly between you guys. The chances of someone turning into a crazy ex are also very high at this point. If you are still on each other’s Facebook seeing a status update that suggests he is out on a date will do no one any good.

Case of the (crazy) ex

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I think its fair to say that everyone has at one point or another in our lives been involved in a crazy ex situation (this is no different from the baby mother/baby father situation). This either means you are just talking to someone, started dating someone or just made the relationship official. Doesn’t matter where you are into the “relationship” if the ex hasn’t detected you on her radar, her alarm bells WILL ring. Word will get to her and she will get your number and any moment now you will be receiving a “private caller”. You should not be that crazy ex, you wouldn’t want to meet that crazy ex and depending on the kind of person you are you don’t really want to be the person who created a crazy ex. To avoid all of this, its simple enough have no ties with your “ex” -_-

Reasons you should cut them off

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– If you can’t bare the thought of seeing him/her with someone else

– The past is the past, unless you plan on getting back together there is no reason to hold on to a broken relationship

– Having an ex around is an obvious nuisance for those who are interested in entering something new with you. Especially if the ex is a crazy one.

– This is an obvious one but just in case some of you didn’t know; if the relationship ended badly why would you even want to be friends? Cut them loose and find someone who will treat you better!

– It’s not healthy to hold onto something that clearly has no future (otherwise you two would still be together right?) It will mentally and emotionally hold you down

– If you still have their number chances are you will end up hooking up, my metaphor for this is wearing new shoes and walking through dog crap.

– If you are emotionally attached, the best thing to do is to completely cut off all ties before you find yourself in a constant  on/off relationship. Don’t be that girl/guy. Who can never shake their ex off. If it didn’t work out the first and second time chances are third time it’s not going to either

In an ideal world, when you say to your ex, “lets stay friends” you can actually succeed at having an innocent and platonic friendship. But it’s not possible to erase that middle part where it turned into a relationship and a sexual one at that. Someone involved will not be able to look past this even if they won’t admit it to themselves, seeing a reminder of life before them will make any person feel some sort of way. Your relationship was based on a friendship, that relationship ended. It makes sense that the friendship also ends in order to avoid any future misunderstandings and complications (headache).

By Annie Ploy

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