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Kojo’s WASTEMAN DIARIES: CHAPTER 3 @OfficialKojo

When I got out of jail, I was obviously broke. All the people I used to roll with are either still locked up, or have just locked me off. The ladies I crash with allow me to keep some stuff at theirs apart from Mandy. When I had loads of money, certain man were always there, now I ain’t got shit, none of them have time for me.

Anyway, Wednesday is all about Tiffany. She’s on the big side but she’s got money to blow. Her uncle passed away but he didn’t have any kids and she was the closest person to him, so he left her a fortune. 5 million to be exact! I met Tiffany on Facebook. We started talking and decided to meet up. She lied to me though, she photoshopped her face onto a models body, so when I met her, I actually walked past her because the person I saw was about a size 18+. She tapped me and said “It’s me”. I started bussing up in her face. Come on though, how can she lie then expect me to act normal? Anyway, I told her it was a minor. She took me to this really expensive restaurant in Kinghtsbridge. You know them restaurants where a guy in a nice suit and top hat opens the doors as you walk in? them ones! Mate, if you saw what was on our table you would’ve been smiling from ear to ear, but not me. In my head, I was like “I ain’t paying for this shit”.

When the food came, I wasn’t eating much, then Tiffany said to me “just so you know, I’m taking you out and paying for this meal. If you saw how quick my appetite came back, you would’ve thought I just found out about food. I ate everything. Went back to her place prepared to take in for the team but she didn’t even want to sleep with me thank God. I can’t even lift 60kg in the gym, much less pick up some big gyal! She just likes spending time with me and money on me. She calls me her boyfriend. She buys me clothes, gets me a hair cut every week and gives me what I need but she never actually gives me cash in my hand. Guess she knows what would happen if I started saving some of that, I’d be gone in a month but right now I have a good situation here. She just wants me to spend time with her every Wednesday as she doesn’t have any friends. I feel sorry for her sometimes. She has all the money in the world, yet all she wants is someone to hangout with her and talk. Well as long as she keeps me looking fine, I’ll stick this out for a little while longer. I better get some sleep now, because tomorrow, I got baby mother headache to look forward too. Chapter 4 out tomorrow at 5pm.

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