Some girl or some woman somewhere is in the bathroom at 5am putting on her face before her man wakes up, because he has never seen her without make up.

I could think of a hundred other ways to spend my 5am, but this article is not just about me.

In my line of work I often here my clients say, one of the following things: I do not want to be sweaty, I don’t like being sweaty” or I don’t want to ruin my make up, I don’t want get bulky, I mean you’re not bulky but I do want to be toned like you…”

My face often looks like this: * Cheshire cat grin*


Which translates to the most sarcastic smile I can think of (and also because the smile on the Cheshire cat always use to bother me) and then I ask them to take a seat while I exercise their brains a little. It’s a hard life, but I love it.

I once rejected a young man by saying “Thank you for the compliment but I am not interested”. He replied: “That’s a shame because looks fade…” Yep he said that. Bitter much?

I went for casting the other day albeit knowing on paper they wanted females aged up to 25 years-old. The Director seemed perplexed as he said “well you look under the age, but on paper your 29…” and as I watched him try to do the math as to why I didn’t look my age, I sighed as it’s the same old deal these days on paper I am too old.

Just like in the sport of Olympic Weightlifting, at the tender age of 33 you are considered a Master, yep a Master. To be fair most successful athletes start their sport at the age of 9 and never stop, which is why the Master cut of point is actually young in the eyes of those who do not follow sport.

I would like to see that changed in the future though; because I think age is slowly being seen differently these days and what’s becoming more scientifically important is a persons drive and determination. The body and mind is capable of many undiscovered feats and it’s about time we stopped using numbers to determine someone ability to be great. Just be great period.

Anyway back to my actor/extra gig:

A typical acting profile asks you to identify your playing age, so I put down 23-35 years of age because that’s what acting is about: pretending. Often those teen actors in our favourite programmes are twice the age but have good genes and a good make up artist and this where my thoughts of perpetuated beauty come to light.

Perpetuated simply means:

“Make (something) continue indefinitely”.


Beauty by definition is:

“A combination of qualities such as shape; colour or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.”


However in simpler terms and drawing a sharper edge on the point of my article is that women (sorry men) are typically pressured into not only being beautiful but to look like they are forever 21. No pun intended. I like the clothing in that store.

Every magazine cover; whether it is about knitting, motherhood or fitness, you will see this young fresh vibrant little thing with all her glorious timeless photo shopping and makeup looking young. She has now been temporarily mummified into our memories. I guarantee if she walked past you in a shop right now with no makeup on and some random tracksuit, you would not even recognise her.

Even our plus sized models that are the rave these days, have been photo shopped to disguise the many stretch marks or scars that most folk have from either, becoming overweight or growing fast in their teen age years.

Yet ingrained in our minds is this image of perfection. Do not get me wrong, there are some stunning men and women of all ages out there with great skin and no photo editing needed! I’d like to think that they are our prospective, politicians, doctor’s, nurses, and innovative artists helping to inspire change in the world one day.

I did say hope…

I saw an article yesterday where a man in Egypt is suing his wife for not looking the same as she did on her wedding day (caked up in makeup). The article said he woke up next to her and was horrified that she looked nothing like she did on the day.

Now there are several things wrong with this picture:

She obviously felt pressured to be seen as beautiful and did it the quickest way she knew how; with makeup.

With this constant portrayal of “timeless beauty” through access to social media platforms like: Instagram, Pin interest, Snap crap I mean Snap chat and Facebook etc. This man’s expectations have been misconstrued; like most men out there today.

Surely he must have seen the Kim Kardashian contour video by now.

We are expected to look like perfection every single day. Which is great, I have no problem with that, because real beauty is a reflection of yourself worth. When you are truly happy with whom you are on the inside, it shows on the outside. So whether you’re unattractive to one man, another will think your best thing since slice bread with or without the tricks of the trade.

You will note that men getting older are deemed sexy in media i.e. the George Clooney’s, Leonardo De Caprio, Idris Alba, and for the few female faces out there who are making money and looking wonderful at 37+ Maria Carey, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Queen Latifah, Alyssa Milano. There are also real people out here being and beaming beauty out here too; whether 21 or 50+.

My most important point today is; do not stay stuck to this image of perfection because there is no such thing. Beauty is a combination of shape, colour and form. But so are our individual likes and understanding of what it means to be young and not allow other people’s opinions define your beauty.

My names Rayen and I am mother, weightlifter, health and fitness coach and empress yep you heard correct.

I think highly of myself when I am sweating in the gym, hugging my little girl, lying on the grass wishing I could move like the wind and more importantly when my messages reaches the hearts of other human beings. I like to think I have awakened the empress and emperor with you.

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