It’s becoming apparent, that what some of you decide to call ‘summer’ is soon to end (sad times). That encourages us to change not only our attire (although some of you ladies wear leggings all year round that’s alot), but also our behaviour.
We begin to think of the months ahead and what we’re going to be doing over the winter. Some will be going university (it’s educational), planning a holiday (it’s vocational) or doing the same thing you’ve always been doing which is your regular 9-5 (its political).
More important than this, is that you notice that people’s attitudes and behaviours dramatically change during this time. The lack of sun does wonders for a person’s perceptions, especially when it comes to relationships.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s always usually around September, there’s a change in the winds (and most females waters) because we see a man’s mindset change radically.
As a teenager this phenomenon would baffle me, no amount of books, films, or scientific experiments could explain why this would happen.
What is this phenomenon? I’m gonna break it down…. (sit back, & get your drink and 2 2 biscuits you ready?)
At the beginning of the year, it’s always break-up season (it’s emotional, don’t laugh) men prefer to do this before Valentines so that they don’t feel obligated to buy you anything, or get you British Gassed thinking that they have plans for you. During summertime, they go gym, get that summer body and enjoy the single life to the fullest.
When they see the nights start to become colder.. and that winter is slowly approaching, they want to ‘settle down’.
The equation is pretty simple:
Summer = Single & Winter = Wifey
Let’s be real, during winter who really has time for dates to the cinema, restaurants & bars? Do you pay my gas bill? Didn’t think so, it’s to damn cold for all of that!
That’s when you see the same guy that told you “he doesn’t want a relationship”
a) Text, calls, pings you on a regular basis.
b) Give you a cute nickname or call you babe, baby etc (FU#K a Baby, this isn’t Dirty Dancing).
c) Showers you with compliments and how ‘special’ you are (pass me a sick bucket).
d) Have an unprecedented interest in your personal life, wants to let you know about his and doesn’t want you seeing anyone else.
e) Always invite you over to his house to ‘keep him company’ because he misses you.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there are not instances when a guy is genuinely into you and he’s just taking his time getting to know you and all that jazz, before he makes a commitment (that’s understandable). I’m not talking about those type of guys (keep doing your thing whoop whoop), I’m talking about the ones that you blatantly know are running game on you, call it female intuition/knowing the game/a quiver in your ovaries I don’t really mind. You know he’s talking hot air because you (and your girls because you know you’ve told them) start thinking in your head:
‘Hmm since when….’
You know at first when he does and says certain things you have that raised eyebrow and slight apprehension, but gradually over time being the emotional creatures that we are, we have this annoying (and deluded) thing called ‘false hope’. We start to fool ourselves into believing that maybe he’s finally realised what a good woman you are, and that he’s changed his feelings towards you.
Girl I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you need to wake up and smell the bulls#it. Yes it is nice, during the winter to have that special someone to cuddle up to under the covers, cook dinner (no food poisoning), and spend some quality time with. But do not get it twisted as soon as the ice melts, and them sun rays begin to shine again, he will begin to close up again and distance himself from you (it’s emotional) and come with the typical lines of: ‘babe I think we’re getting a bit to serious right now/ I just need some time alone/ let’s just take it slow’
Oh give me a flipping kitkat, the way to avoid this gentlemen is to be truthful from the get go. Let a female know exactly what the deal is about your relationship, if she decides to still pursue, then that’s her business.
Words by Delia-René