iCandy model and writer; Carmin Conner, returns with her answer to another question that’s been posed to her, and gives her answer in perfectly frank detail as there’s no point beating about the bush is there? (Unless your lady likes that sort of thing of course) So, let’s see what Carmin has been asked this time…
What makes bad sex good? What hints and tips should a girl give or how should she broach the subject without risking an argument, or her guys (or girls) humiliation?
Hi there!
Well first of all, the main consideration should be your partner’s feelings. So sensitivity and a gentle prod in the right direction will work wonders. Also, positive affirmations rather than negative ones will prove more helpful. No one wants to be told they’re terrible in bed so instead of focussing on what they’re doing wrong, tell them what they’re doing really well then point out some gentle tips on what you’d like instead of dislike. I’d avoid this discussion taking place in the bedroom at all costs, there are some things that should never be uttered during sex, “This is your first time right?” is definitely one of them. Also, you don’t want your partner building up a phobia of being in bed with you through fear of criticism.
Case in point, a girl I know is quite a domineering character, once when in bed with a boy she stopped everything and declared “I just really don’t like your attitude!” He promptly dumped her. Not surprising. She also dabbled in directing her own porno. Feeling nervous the male performer failed in getting an erection. Standing over him in her power suit, clutching a clipboard she maternally dictated “I ask you to do this one thing and you can’t even do it!” Feeling completely disheartened and even more nervous he simply couldn’t get a boner thus rendering the shoot a write off.
Don’t be afraid to broach the subject with your partner though. The last thing you’d want is to develop deep seeded feelings of resentment. On one of those tacky, repeated late night sex guides I saw an episode where a girl faked her orgasms for 2 long dissatisfied years. Eventually when she did confess to her boyfriend that she never came, it opened up a minefield of sexual problems that spilled into the couple’s everyday life through endless arguments. Not to mention also knocking her man’s confidence as he believed himself to be an utter stud for the duration of their relationship.
What I think would work is the good ‘ole dirty text scenario. For example if your man is lousy at giving head and laps at you like a meek kitten drinking milk, text him while he’s at work saying, “I love getting licked out, how about tonight you go at it a little harder?” I’m sure this will get his pulse racing instead of you almost falling asleep with his head between your legs before yawning and declaring “This just isn’t doing it for me….”
Or if he’s not rough enough for your liking send him, “Hey boy! I love how you fuck me…..How about tonight you pound my pussy ’til I scream and scratch your back. Pull my hair, spank me and fuck me hard ’til I cum….” No man would say no to this.
You could also whack on some porn. If you see something you would like to re-create, gently rub his thigh and while you work your hand up to his crotch gently say, “Hey….how about we give that a go?”
I hope these suggestions will avoid any arguments taking place or any feelings getting hurt. The main thing is to have fun and keep your partner lustful instead of discouraged.
“There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. – Billy Joel.”
Don’t forget, if there’s a question that you want to ask Carmin about what’s rocking your world in the bedroom (or what isn’t!) don’t forget to get in touch with her at Carmin@icandy-online.com and don’t worry – we won’t name you…. We might name your Mrs/Mr though if you want us to and get them to sort their act out out of sheer shame! (not recommended unless you are secretly looking to get dumped).
Words by Carmin Conner