casual sex

I’ve always been an enthusiastic ambassador of casual sex! Not only do I boast my hilariously outrageous stories, but I also advise and encourage that my friends and readers get our there and enjoy some no-strings-attached orgasmic triumphs!

doll cat pvssy
Doll Cat Pvssy aka Poisonous Slutcake

However, I think a lot of people who are blurting their casual sex-conquests are actually confused as to what ‘casual sex’ is, and end up strapping themselves into an emotional roller coaster of hopeless booty calls and an aftermath of teary phone calls (sound familiar?). So what is casual sex, and when is a booty call a not-so-wise investment?

I’ve pitifully come to realise there are many souls who are confused by what casual sex is. My idea of casual sex, to put it simply, is to have sex for my own selfish needs; to temporarily make me feel like a porn star; to remind me I’m desirable; to convince myself fucking in an alley way once a week does count as having a social life; and of course, to challenge my masturbation technique by having to avoid scratching someone’s penis as I get myself off…(lol) So yes, I think casual sex is a mild act of egocentrism, but wherever we can nourish our delicate self-confidence in such a vicious world, we should take our sexualities by the leather leash and lighten our lives a little.

Sex is a blissful parallel elevation from whatever else is going on in your life, and you’re only lifted that little bit higher into the clouds of surreality through having casual sex with someone who’s otherwise not a part of your reality. Casual sex bears no consequence to your life once you’ve gotten dressed and left the door; that’s what makes it casual and so fantastic! Both parties need to be mutually looking for sexual self-indulgence for neither person to end up tangled in heartstrings. As tactless as your encounters may be, whomever is lucky enough to be so intimate with you deserves the utmost courtesy, respect and fun, but you’re not there to make their night… you’re there to make it yours! And there you have your ‘casual sex’ mindset!

It absolutely pains me to hear my dear and lovely friends express that they’ve decided to agree to a ‘strictly casual sex contract’ with the man of their dreams. What’s casual about fucking your heart, hopes and dreams out of your wet vagina with the aspiration of changing his life goals until he’s awaiting you at the alter? ‘Casually’ trying to have no-strings-attached sex with someone you hope you’ll eventually end up in a more serious relationship with is really not casual at all! It’s actually the most serious sex you could ever have! When you’re legitimately in a committed relationship with someone, you’re not fucking for a trophy, to encourage your horoscope to love you and to convince another human to sync their lives with you; you’re just fucking cause you really like them and want to animate the love of your relationship with gleeful orgasms together. It’s an exciting exercise of trust, bonding and intimacy. Whereas having sex with someone to strive to win them over is extremely intense, emotionally exhausting, and 99% of the time will never get you what you want!

Men and women, when they really want to be with someone, will make it happen! As human beings, we all have the ability to have sex, so screwing somebody you’re desperate to have an emotional relationship with is really not going to suddenly sway a guy who had already always assumed you had genitalia that could accommodate a dick. Nobody wants to date someone they had to prove themselves to anyway.

Need I mention that screwing your ex is less casual than the ridiculous, diamante embellished ball gown/wonderbra combo you wore to your high school prom?  The only thing more emotionally detrimental than using your skills in reverse cow-girl to convince a man to love you, is to convince yourself you can have emotionless sex with a man you used to be in love with. Unless you’re told on a daily basis that you’re a stone-cold, heartless bitch, or you had a relationship so affectionless, dull and unfulfilling that it would turn Spongebob Squarepants into a tear-jerker in comparison, then stop kidding yourself that it’s casual. What’s casual about stabbing your emotions with an unhygienic, veiny dick with the wish that, that dick will regret ending your monogamous relationship? Even if you genuinely think it’s merely casual and convenient, WHY OF ALL PEOPLE MUST YOU BONE YOUR EX? Get out there and shag someone new!

We need to embrace our emotional clarity and freedom when we choose to get naked with someone for the pure fucking fun of it! The beauty of casual sex is its naked, raw and judgement-free euphoria. When you have no one to cajole or impress but yourself, you become much more inclined to experimenting, exploring and taking advantage of the endless degree of sex. Do you want to stagger away from your booty call stressing that the way he touched your clit might mean more than that you were just having sex? Or do you want to skip back down the stairway to heaven, clit still tingling, ready to test those freshly practised skills on someone new?!